Hot, Dusty and Amazing

Where was I? The question I usually ask while travelling and opening my eyes for the first time of the day is, Where am I? This morning it was Cairo and we were slowly coming to our senses in Hotel Longchamps. Our phone rang, Deb glanced at the clock, announced it’s 8:00 and answered. The guide was in the hotel an hour early. Luka was fast asleep and our eviscerated luggage lay slackmouthed on the floor, contents strewn lewdly about the room. Shit. “I’ll tell him to come back in an hour”. She’s good at this.

The guide (an egyptologist dontcha know) and his driver were there to escort us about the major sights and deposit us at the train station at the end of the day. Fold, stuff, zip and we were ready for brekkie... if we could get Luka moving. “C’mon Luka, c’mon Luka, c’mon Luka...”

We spent the day with the guy, I should remember his name but I don’t. Hasmid? Aman? Anyway, he knew his stuff and between his cell calls gave us the a ton of mostly useless info; one fifth of the Egyptian GNP is from tourism, another fifth from the Suez canal fees, 70 million people, their own oil supply but no export... whatever. The first place he took us was Sakkara pyramid, the oldest building in the world, 5052 years old to be precise. It’s a ‘step’ pyramid with each of its six steps built by different people over generations. Now here’s something about pyramids I didn’t know; except for the “Great” pyramid, they’re solid, nuthin’ but rock. Beneath them are the tombs, the pyramids being oversized tombstones.

From there we were off to the ‘Red’ pyramid and while they were only a few k apart we had to pass through a few million people to get there. Travelling with a guide in an airconditioned cab insulates you from the world you’re visiting and honestly, I didn’t mind being insulated from the smell, dust and abject poverty we passed through. Thirty years ago I was a younger, nobler, more adventurous guy. Now, not so much but it felt odd, sort of like watching a travelog dvd which leaves you feeling informed but not enriched.

Red was bigger and newer (only 4,600 years or so) and we were able to climb the exterior as high as our faint hearts would allow and down into a shaft that forced us to duck walk for what felt like ever but was probably less than 100 meters. The thighs are still burning.

The Great pyramid was the highlight and like all tourist destinations was guarded by Kalishnikov-bearing soldiers. Unruly tourists require extreme measures and occasionally need machine gunning to keep the peace. So we peacefully beat back the voracious vendors as we made our way to the most impressive sight I’ve ever seen. Limited climbing on the exterior is allowed which was good because I have limited ability and significant acrophobia.

The climb into the interior was long, hard and steep but monkey Luka sprinted ahead benefitting from his minor stature. Were Egyptians three foot? Deep in the interior was The Room. Everything cool had been removed except for the empty sarcophagus. I paced off the room; six meters by twelve meters and I have no idea why I did. It’s one of those rooms where you just feel the need to stop. And be still. But I have trouble being still so I paced. What amazed me (beyond the multi thousand history I was encased in) was there was no-one in the room with me. Deb and Luka had moved on and no-one had replaced them. I had heard a woman crying and saying “No, No we have to go back!” behind me as we climbed the narrow passage (very narrow) to The Room so I guess claustrophobia doesn’t rank as high as acrophobia on my list of fears.

Next. Riding a camel seemed appropriate so we did. They said the best photo-ops were from the distance so with our guide’s assistance we hired two dromedaries and hopped on. Which in itself was no small feat and no doubt contributed to today’s thigh-burn. Some great pics but if the Arab leading our two camel parade asked “Everybody happy?” one more time I’d have beaten him to death with my water bottle.

The guide, what’s his name, wanted us to finish our tour with a visit to a papyrus shop and a perfume factory. Yuk. I’d been in the same clothes for two hot ‘n dusty days and needed cooling off. So we ixnayed his commission possibilities and got him to drop us at The Meridian hotel where for $100 we rented a room and a swimming pool for four hours. He was gracious and with a handshake promised the driver would return at seven to deliver us to the train station.

For the next four hours we luxuriated in the insulation between us and the real Egypt... and loved it. Shit, I’m fifty-one so I’m one part guilt and four parts “Oh yeah!”

Four hours later, washed and refreshed and with a suitcase full of new toiletries we climbed into the van. A new guide was in the van and stayed with us for the hour wait at the station. But I’ll have to write about sharing a sleeper car with a stranger later because on a cruise ship dinner hour is The Hour and that’s now.