Italy Up Close and Impersonal

The show was about a search for a new co-presenter for a variety show. The contestants were all model-quality blondes who had to perform some skill - such as making a martini - and then do a sexy dance for the audience.

The show was a talent search where the audience votes after every two contestants. The two contestants await the audience’s decision as they stand over trap doors. Beneath them are large tanks of water. The loser goes swimming.

The show was a game show, one team vs another. They had to perform various skits and dances to score points. Only here the teams were labelled Hetero vs Gay.

The shows are all on Italian primetime TV and it felt like American reality TV on steroids. Just how offensive, sexual and in-your face can we be? It must have been the question the Italian producers asked themselves as they went into planning this year’s crop of crap. Can North America be far behind? Oh well, at least there aren't any suicide channels...yet.

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First impressions of Rome: grungy and multi-ethnic. We arrived via train from Avenzanno on Sunday morning. A Lui cousin was kind enough to get up early, early on Sunday to drive us from Peschina to Avenzano where a train whisked us to the heart of the Roman Empire. And what a busy heart. Tourists from every nation mix here, anxious to walk the ancient walks, see the ancient sights but mostly find their hotel and find their way out of the train station. They say all roads lead to Rome; well apparently so do all train lines. The station was a humming hive of comers and goers located in a rough part of town.

Outside the station African and Asian hawkers show their wares, competing with one another for our attention. Graffitti adorned most walls and the refuse lining the cobblestone streets added their texture to the car fumes and heat. Our luggage identified us as fresh meat for the machine but a year of travel has made us veteran gauntlet runners. She hunted down the hotel, He and I hunted down breakfast.

She had booked us a shared apartment not far from the station, so still in Grungeville but, as it turned out, very clean and comfortable. A tiny elevator that once operated on coins creaked to the 5th floor of the two hundred year old building where we met the two young couples we were sharing the apartment with. Like us, they were out most of the time so interaction was minimal and pleasant. The kitchen allowed for leisurely starts to our days; I’d hiked back to the train station where I’d seen breakfast basics for sale. With coffee, eggs and bread in the cupboard we could start our days slow, planning what to see and where to go.

And what we planned to go and see that first day was Appia Antica, the first major road built for the military. It had been recommended by the guide book and as that’s Her bible, we also got the bicycles it recommended. Good thing too because it’s a loooong road. And bumpy - my ass was sore for days. But a fantastic introduction to Rome and far from the Colliseum crowds. Over 2300 years of artifacts lined the road amongst the villas and catacombs, and if we’d stop to examine each and every, we’d still be there. Three quarters of the way down the road we veered off to see the aquaducts and then circled back to The Road for a vibrating end to the afternoon. We finished our first Roman day roaming around the Colliseum and chowing down at restaurant serving up that most recgnized Italian dish, pizza.

Day two saw us early at the station cuz the next train brought sis, sis and hubby, hubby to Rome. We all got on the wrong hop on/hop off bus and spent the better part of the day listening to commentaries about this church and that church when what we really wanted was that site and this site, you know, the big stuff. But there we were on the Christian tour of Rome, stopping at chapels big and small.

Ah well, St. Peter’s Square is big and Christian so we got off there for a stroll and grub. Good grub, great pix and fantastic company made for a memorable afternoon. Unfortunately, the family affair ended at six because all but He, She and me were heading back to Peschina leaving us to pack and prep for the morning’s departure to Florence.

But I’ll write about the awe of Michelangelo’s David next time. This is already too long and we're moving and seeing faster that I can write.